Eat Pray Love

I went to see the film Eat Pray Love last night starring Julia Roberts. Based on the bestselling book it tells the story of Liz, a middle aged writer, who reaches a crossroads in her life, realizing that she does not like the life that she is living. Realizing she is unhappy in her marriage, she divorces her husband, and embarks on a year long journey of travel and new experiences in an attempt to feel alive again. Beginning in Italy, she lives, eats, learns Italian, and finds snippets of happiness, but still she is incomplete. Liz travels to India to learn meditation from the great Guru, and is frustrated cause she cannot still her soul. Ending her year in Bali, she faces her fears of opening her heart again to love.

Liz's experience is like so many people. We want to be happy. We want to experience life to the fullest. We want to feel complete. We want to be loved. And, we want to find rest. So often, we think that when our lives are not how we expect or what we want, we must change something outside of ourselves. We need to get away. So we plan a trip, change jobs, move, break-up with a significant other, and for awhile, we are ok again. But, that feeling of not enough, of something missing, returns. Because the problem is not outside of us, it's in us. There is a saying that goes, "Where ever you go, there you are." You can never leave yourself.

I'd like to suggest that we look in all the wrong places for the peace and stillness and completeness that we all desire. It won't be found in success, wealth, beauty, thinness. In the book, Desire of Ages, it says, "Living faith in the Redeemer will smooth the sea of life, and will deliver us from danger in the way that He knows best (White, 336). Jesus tells us "Be still and know that I am God." Ps. 46:10. Here alone, can true rest be found.

Trust, Hope, and Haiti

I went to Haiti last week. My flight attendant benefits and fairly flexible schedule allowed me the opportunity to join my Uncle, and his family, along with a group of medical volunteers at the Adventist hospital located just outside Port-au-Prince.

I was hoping that I could be useful in some way, even without any medical training. Selfishly, I was also hoping that the trip and whole experience would be personally life altering. In a sense, I came back disappointed because I don't feel like I was able to contribute much, and I haven't had any life changing epiphanies yet. Yet...

I have a lot of questions. I question how my existence can make a difference in this world. I question how God can just watch so much distruction, so much pain. After four months, piles of rubble, tent cities, chaos, and brokenness is. It just is...

I asked Joseph, one of the translators, what it is like to be Hatian. "You have to be strong. You must be a soldier. You have to fight for yourself. Look out for yourself. Have your own weapons. Sometimes, maybe, someone will help you. But usually not. You just must be strong. Because you are alone."

The woman at the clinic says she can't eat. The nurse inquires to why. In creole, she says she doesn't have an appetite. The woman then turns and points to a large pile of rubble right behind the makeshift clinic. "My daughter is in that rubble."

Reggie says if he could take it all back he would. His english is perfect. It's because he grew up in Miami, having moved there from Haiti with his mother when he was five years old. He's back now, and not by desired choice, but due to other life choices. He was convicted in the United States and deported. He's only 26. Along with the time Reggie spent in an American prison, he spent 21 days in a Hatian prison. Hatian prisons are a whole nother hell. A small space becomes a place to sleep, a bathroom, a shower. The only source of food is if the prisoner's family brings it to them. If the prisoner has no family to bring food, the prisoner has three options; another prisoner shares his food, starvation, or fight someone for their food. Reggie says you can't blame people for fighting. It's just about surviving. In Haiti, survival is about looking out for oneself.

It strikes me how strange it is that I am walking past tent cities and garbage studded dirt streets with a convicted felon. A country with no sense of safety, and me, with no sense of direction. Ironically, I feel a sense of protection from a person that I would not easily trust on the streets of LA. But, I trust Reggie. Sometimes, you must trust people. But I wonder who can the people of Haiti trust? Can they trust that they will see the benefits of the 1 billion dollars in aid money and supplies that have been sent? Can they trust that their babies will be fed? Can they trust that their homes will be rebuilt? Can they trust that there lives will improve? Can they trust in their Voudoo gods? With no infrastructure and no leader, they have learned that they can only trust themselves.

Sabrina's clinic is constructed from tarps and poles. Everything about it is mobile. The "pharmacy" is divided between four suitcases that lie on the dusty ground. The "exam room" is made up of the 90 degree converging of a brick wall and a vertical hanging tarp. It's Sabrina's Clinic because it is organized and continues to run due to the efforts of an amazing 20-something, nurse-midwife named Sabrina. For 4 months leading up to the January quake, Sabrina searched unsuccessfully for a nursing job. Even during the recent shaky economic times, nurses have still been in high demand, but Sabrina's search proved fruitless. She felt strongly that God must have some reason for her unemployment and she leaned on the faith that God was going to do something in her life. A couple days after the quake, she got a call from someone asking if she could be at the airport in an hour and a half. She was needed in Haiti.

I ask her if she gets lonely in Haiti. Her family is not with her. She's young. She's learning Creole and French. Everything is so different. She thinks for a moment and then replies, "No. Not really. Since I came here, I believe that God has been telling me that I need to go to Him first. Not a boyfriend. Not a best girlfriend. Not my family. Instead, I need to rely on Him completely and tell him everything first. So, no. I'm not lonely." Sabrina speaks with strong conviction and a calm peace. In Haiti, she has found something to trust. In Haiti, she has found the only thing to trust.

Click here to see pictures from my trip

Bananas

I rummaged through my closet this afternoon looking for a t-shirt to throw on. I pulled a turquoise, flowy tank out, and right then, my "Banana" tee caught my eye. I smiled. My banana tee has a story behind it.

One morning, a few years ago, I remember complaining because we had nothing in the house for breakfast. I specifically made the biggest deal that we didn't even have bananas. When I got home late that evening, there was this ginormous box of bananas on the counter! A huge box completely filled with bananas! Not squash, not potatoes, not apples; BANANAS. Apparently, the grocery store had just received a fresh shipment, so the produce manager gave my mom this box, for free.

Before they call, I will answer. While they are still speaking, I will hear.

Isaiah 65:24

Bananas is a good reminder to me that there are answers. That there is One who hears. One who hears the little things, even when it's in the form of a complaint. No matter in what form we come to Him, He always hears. Today, "Bananas" reminded me that He is hearing us in all of our questions and concerns with the tortilla business.

Why Tortillas?

People inevitably ask, "Why do you want to, or why are you starting a whole wheat tortilla business?" This idea of selling homemade, whole wheat tortillas was birthed over a year ago, but due to timing and other pressing crises, the tortilla didn't make it into the production stages. Over a year later, the tortilla is back at the forefront of the thoughts of my Mom, Brenda, Dad, Tim, and I (call us "The Three Amigos").

We, The Three Amigos, stew over how to get this product to market, and during these conversations, I doubt, thinking, "We wanted to do this last year, so what is going to make this different this year? Why will it work now?" The fear brings on discouragement, and I question if this is really the route God wants us to take. Interestingly, I was reading my Bible, and I came across this passage: 2 Corinthians 8:10-12. I blinked a couple times, wondering if I had read the verse correctly. I was so impressed that God was speaking directly to me. He was addressing my fears, knowing my thoughts, and seeing my heart. He cares. Not only about this tortilla venture, but about all ventures.

From the research we have conducted, we are confident that this business will be successful for many reasons, some of which include the following:

• There is a need to improve the currently available whole wheat tortilla products.


• Tortillas are one of the fastest growing grain products on the market.


• People want convenience food items that are both healthy, affordable, and great tasting.


• Timing of entry fits in with 2009 Trends.
  
  
• Positive response from test markets.